I know it ain't right to hold tight (but I can't let go)
by huntressed
Summary: For an original vampire, twenty years is not that long. In fact, twenty years is just a small dot in the number of years she has graced this Earth. - RebekahIsaac. Reincarnation AU.


_You could fall in love, fall apart_

 _(Alex Winston. 2015)_

 _/_

She lost him twenty years ago to a car accident in which he saved his family from getting killed on impact. He swerved his car to make sure that the drunk driver would hit the driver's seat and _not_ the passenger seat where his wife was sitting (their child was sitting right behind her mother.) For an original vampire, twenty years is not that long. In fact, twenty years is just a small dot in the number of years she have graced this Earth.

Maybe being an original altered her sense of time, maybe it didn't. But for her, everything just goes by a little too fast. Her time with Isaac Lahey went a little too fast when everything happened in just a span of six months in Paris. She made him a promise saying that she'd come back for him once that her family issues have been dealt with, but then she broke that promise and never tried to find Isaac. Mostly because she wanted to make sure that he doesn't get sucked into the world she lives in. A world where family just goes against each other, vendettas have been set against different creatures, and a never-ending war just rages on in their city.

That's no place for someone like Isaac. He's gentle, strong, and pure. She doesn't know if she could forgive herself, should she try to bring him to New Orleans. Rebekah Mikaelson couldn't exactly leave either. Klaus needed her, and so did the rest of the family. As much as she wanted to be back in the freedom state Klaus had given her, she couldn't bring it upon herself to turn away from her family.

Even if she's miles apart from Isaac, she never stopped thinking about him. Her heart had always been with him since the day she managed to knock him off his feet and fell on top of him in Paris, and she's sure that it should always stay that way no matter what happens to him or her. One thing she was not certain about, was if he felt the same way – but Rebekah does not dwell on that. Isaac deserved to live the life he wanted – even if it doesn't include her. She'd rather see him be happy without her, than cause him so much pain and discomfort if she ever tried to bring him into her life.

But all those memories? Those were long ago. They're far too gone and Rebekah wanted to forget them sometimes, especially because it brought back intensive amounts of pain.

She was sat atop a bar stool in one of those dingy pubs in Scotland, there's a lit cigarette between her index and middle finger and she took a drag out of the cigarette, inhaling every single bit of damage it could possibly do to her body. But then again, she's an original vampire with accelerated healing and immortality, smoking wouldn't do much to her (except giving her bad smoker's breath, but she prefers to not think about that at all.)

The bartender was a woman. Redhead. Bright red lips. Attractive smiles. She had been flirting with Rebekah for the past twenty minutes, and Rebekah would flirt back. It wasn't long before she found out that the woman was a banshee. The woman (whose name she found out to be Eliza) was keeping her lips sealed shut as Rebekah's head was in between her thighs. Usually, people would be very vocal about their satisfaction when Rebekah had them in her bed (a thousand years of experience proves to be a huge advantage when it comes to sex) but this woman was different.

"You're keeping your lips sealed." She asked looking up at Eliza who was slick with sweat.

"Can't have a banshee screaming out loud because of sex." Eliza shrugged.

"I thought banshee screams are only amplified if it's actually about death?"

"Yeah. But some of our natural screams tend to get pretty loud as well. It's not really the prettiest thing to hear when you've got someone so hot fucking you."

They continued on. And eventually, it turned into a no-strings attached relationship. Rebekah coming to the dingy pub whenever she wanted to, and Eliza taking her to the spare rooms just above the pub after closing time to have their sexual rendezvous.

It went on for about two weeks, then she saw a familiar mop of blond hair and blue eyes. He went into the pub and gave Eliza a quick kiss on the cheek, greeting Eliza the way Elijah would greet Rebekah upon years of not seeing each other. Her palms were sweating, and her heart was racing as she looked at this man who looked like Isaac fucking Lahey.

"Hey Isaac, this is my friend Rebekah." Eliza introduced Rebekah like they've been friends for so long. Even with the sexual relations, Rebekah and Eliza were still friends. The original wasn't sure if they're friends because it was convenient, or because they're actually the only ones who ever tried to get along. But Rebekah settled for it, anyway.

It's been long since she had friends.

"Rebekah. Nice to meet you, my name's Isaac Lahey. How did you meet my _sister_?" He asked, there's a mischievous glint in his eyes that the previous reincarnation of Isaac Lahey didn't have.

There's a twisting feeling in the pits of Rebekah's stomach.

"Eliza never mentioned she had a brother." That was the only reply she could thought of, and that's probably so pathetic considering the fact that she's an original vampire and she had fought so many wars and argued with so many historical figures, and yet here she was losing words over someone she knew in a previous life.

A soft chuckle came from Eliza as she placed her arm around Isaac's broad shoulders, "Isaac is not really my brother. He's actually my mother's godson, and since his parents are gone, we took him in."

Even in this life, Isaac had absent parents. Rebekah felt the urge to go over there and tell him how sorry she was, but then this Isaac _didn't_ even know her. They just met. And she has to let that sink in.

"That sucks. Sorry you had to go through that."

"No worries, pretty. It's not your fault and I'm pretty sure they don't want me wallowing over their death. You look like you're not from 'round here, what brings you to my sister's ugly pub?" The look on his face resembled pure curiosity.

Her mind flashed back to when _the_ Isaac Lahey was sitting next to her beside the Seine, asking her about how many brothers she had, and why she chose Paris out of all the beautiful places she had ever been. His curiosity has never – not once – annoyed Rebekah like all the people who asked too much questions ever did. Isaac was genuine when he told her that he wanted to know every single thing about her piece-by-piece.

Rebekah wondered if this Isaac would say the same thing.  
"Just needed a more peaceful life."

"Must be a pretty chaotic life you have lived from where you've been if you went to Linlithgow of all places." And it sounded like he was pinpointing the truth, rather than making an educated guess.

It was when he said those words that Rebekah came up with the lousily assembled hypothesis that everyone remembered something that happened in their past lives. A relic of their old selves. A distant reminder of who they were.

Rebekah wished that she could remember something that would trace her back to a life she lived before, but immortality demanded too much from her. The length of her life didn't feel as if it was _one_ life. Rather, it was the cramming of a number of existences into one person.

Being turned into a vampire at the ripe age of eighteen years old meant that Rebekah was in the transition state, the one where she wasn't really a teenager anymore, but not quite an adult. But the curse their mother created turned her into something less of a human, and so she was forced to grow up and fight a war that she and her siblings never really wanted in the first place.

"It wasn't pretty, I'll tell you that."

Eliza had been very vocal about her support for the budding romance between Rebekah and Isaac. She had been in Linlithgow for six months already, never really bothering to move away for she found the place peaceful and suiting for a tired original's needs.

And during those six months, Rebekah found solace in Isaac Lahey.

Even if they started out on the wrong foundation (Rebekah having a sexual relationship with his so-called sister) they had been strong and steady as their worked their way up. He doesn't quite remind her of _the_ Isaac, and she doesn't really love him the same way she loved _the_ Isaac. But it was worth it. Every single look and glance at him was worth it.

"Tell me, Rebekah, have I met you before?" He asked just as he was stroking her blonde hair.

They're lying beside each other beneath the stars on the top of a hill. The wind was cold, but Rebekah never really felt it – vampires were never really warm. He was using his elbow to prop himself up the grass, and loved the view of him looking right through her damaged soul.

"Maybe in some other life, you did." Her words remained true for he did have the privilege of knowing Rebekah Mikaelson in his previous life. Rebekah was in love with him, too.

"Because I've always felt like I knew you, like you were destined to be a part of my life – no matter how cheesy it sounds. One look at you and I was fucking struck, bells are ringing, orchestras are playing, and there's this voice in my head saying you're the one." He was smiling, and she was on the verge of tears.

"I love you, Isaac Lahey. Terribly much."

Their relationship lasted for about three years until Isaac asked her to turn him. Rebekah refused, telling him that he deserved a full life. A life where he grew old, had the chance to produce a bunch of little Isaacs, and a life where he will feel fulfilment.

A life of vampirism will never be something Rebekah would wish upon someone like Isaac.

And so they fought, and fought.

And fought.

Until they were nothing and Rebekah is running again.

She swore to herself that she will do all that she can to avoid any reincarnations of Isaac, but she would be lying to herself is she said that she saw _this one_ coming. It had been sixty years since she last saw Isaac Lahey from Scotland. And in the span of those sixty years, Rebekah never heard from him again, or Eliza. There were never any assumptions coming from her side, she just let him go and endured the fleeting memories that come from time to time.

It's the twenty fifth of December and she chose to celebrate it with none other than Kol Mikaelson. They were drunkenly singing in a bar filled with drunk people, all of them were singing Jingle Bells in a way that all glasses in New York would have broken if they continued on for hours.

"Merry fucking Christmas, jerk." Rebekah laughed, greeting her brother with love disguised in heavy profanities and insults.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Original Bitch." And together they laughed until Kol spotted a redhead and decided that he needed a "Christmas-Night-Stand".

That's the story of how she was left alone to walk in the streets of New York, tipsy and a little bit off herself because she had gotten so used to celebrating Christmas without her family that tonight with Kol felt a little foreign. There's a drunken laugh that danced in the air as she thought about her other siblings. She knew they're all still alive. She also knew that her niece was also a full-grown woman already, immortal too. But the thought of actually being with them right this moment was a little bit odd to Rebekah.

She had found herself away from them. She thought that maybe it would be easier if she just continued on finding herself without them. Those years of fighting the war her brothers set and their mother created was too tiring for her.

In the midst of her walking and her deep thoughts, she didn't even notice that the next Isaac Lahey was walking towards her in the same drunken state as she was. He was shouting every single profanity known to man, while Rebekah was laughing so hard she felt her stomach was going to come out.

Their collision felt familiar to her for all he ever radiated was warmth. Even in the most disastrous times, he never failed to give her the feeling of warmth she always lacked. Maybe it's because of the vampirism, or maybe it's because of her numb state of being. She doesn't really know, and she doesn't want to.

"Shit I'm sorry." Even in his apologies, profanities were included.

"That's okay. You look like my ex-boyfriend, though." Though her response was uncalled for, he didn't look like he minded. He just laughed and offered her a hand.

"Must be a pretty good looking man if he looks like me."

Unexpectedly, they ended up sitting on a park bench in Central Park talking about life and how they thought it would go for them. This Isaac was filled with insight, an optimist. And that's how she found herself comparing him to the first sign of grass in the winter. The first sign of hope. He's her springtime, she concluded.

Rebekah was drunk, and so was Isaac. They're laughing way too loud for people who just met on a lonely Christmas evening, but they don't really care either. When the laughter died down, that was when Isaac asked for her name.

"I'm Bex, short for Bekah, short for Rebekah." And then she laughed once more, finding her introduction hilarious and absolutely genius. This is when she was finally sure that alcohol sure does wonders.

She could see the crinkle in his eyes as he laughed with her, and from there she felt the familiarity and the same kind of warmth she had felt from the previous Isaacs she encountered. But even in her drunken state, Rebekah knew that she shouldn't pursue him anymore. For she said too many painful goodbyes already, and she doesn't know if she could endure another one.

"I'm Isaac—" He began, only to have Rebekah cut him off before he could even finish.

"—Lahey, I know."

"Have we met before?" An eyebrow of his raised up as he inched closer to the original.

"I've met you in a number of lifetimes, yes. It always ends in a goodbye, though."

Every Isaac she met was different. _The_ Isaac Lahey gave Rebekah hope, he made her believe in empires and the ability to love someone eternally – the way she will always love him. _The_ Isaac Lahey was the reason for Rebekah believing that there is still _good_ in this world, no matter how the world tried to corrupt him, he stood there willing to sacrifice everything and anything for the people he loved.

The second Isaac Lahey (Eliza's cousin) showed Rebekah that love knows no boundaries. He was willing to sacrifice his human life just to spend it with Rebekah. However, he also represented the different wishes they have in life. Rebekah wanted him to live his life as humanly as possible, and he wanted to turn himself just for her. It didn't end well. But it was great all the same.

This Isaac was honest and very open about his feelings. Even if they just met, Rebekah's certain that she's already in love with him. He is honesty. Every single bit of him made her want to spill every dark secret she had, and every single fleeting thought and feeling she ever felt.

"As crazy as this sounds, I believe you." He told her, and then he moved his hand up to touch her face. The original was trying her best to stop herself from crying.

"Which is why we should part ways after this. I'm not sure if I could endure another painful goodbye." Rebekah sighed. She was aware that she told him her biggest fear, but that doesn't matter to her anymore. Because tomorrow, Isaac Lahey wouldn't remember her anymore.

"I'm sorry we never had the chance to have a happy ending." His voice spoke of nothing but pain and hopefulness as he delivered those words.

"Me too. Guess happy endings are never really meant for us together."

They didn't even notice the tiny peek of the sun from the New York City skyline as they gazed into each other's souls. Rebekah remembering the different versions of the boy sitting beside her, and Isaac trying to grasp on the relics of who he was before. It was as if their eyes were the gateway to the deepest corners of their subconscious, the key to knowing how much they actually loved each other now and before.

Isaac's hand went to the original vampire's cheek, and slowly his face moved towards her. There's a million butterflies flying in Rebekah's stomach, but she kept her composure and allowed him to slowly bring his lips near hers. When two cold lips met, it's no surprise that they both found home in each other's kiss. Mouths were moving along in perfect synchronization and harmony, radiating warmth enough for the both of them to not feel the cold New York City air.

Her hands made their home on Isaac's chest and she could feel his fingers running through her locks. And all she could think of right now is: _don't leave, don't leave, don't leave._ But Rebekah's not stupid, nor was Isaac. Both of them were aware that they're not supposed to last too long, or else it would bring forth pain and misery.

When she finally pulled away from him, she felt cold and numb. She kept her eyes closed for a few seconds more before opening them to see that Isaac was wearing a sad look on his face.

"Goodbye, Isaac Lahey."

"Hopefully the next me will be able to give you something longer than this."

"Don't worry, you've given me more than enough. I'll remember this for as long as we're bound together." She smiled, and there was hope.

"Merry Christmas, Rebekah."

"Merry Christmas, Isaac."

The next Isaac was annoying and incredibly arrogant. He was a football player, playing for Manchester United and Rebekah swore she would kick his balls if she ever had the chance. It's been a hundred years since that Christmas, and she was certain that she'll never meet another Isaac again. But she's wrong, so very wrong.

Isaac Lahey in this lifetime was a stupid, arrogant, and incredibly boastful football player. Fans from all over the world were screaming his name and placing him in their desktop wallpapers. Rebekah observed that it gave this version of Isaac a huge ass ego.

She met him during one of his games where she was rooting for Arsenal with all her heart and soul. After the game, she was standing outside the stadium waiting for Kol to pick her up (yes, she and Kol managed to stick together without fighting and getting tired of each other's faces) when Isaac approached her and gave a lame ass pick-up line.

"Hey, you're hotter than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar."

Rebekah's mouth fell open and an eyebrow raised as she gave the football player a once over. Clearly, she was putting him to shame with the look on her face.

"Oh my God, Lahey. This makes me so thankful I'm supporting Arsenal instead of Manchester. They don't have lame football players with huge egos."

"You wound me."

"I intend to." She responded with a sarcastic smile painted over her face.

"I say you lose the Arsenal shirt and I can give you my jersey. Red and yellow looks cute with your shorts."

"Fuck off. I never asked for your fashion advice. Why don't you go back to wherever you came from and deflate your gigantic ego?" Annoyance is the main emotion she felt upon meeting Isaac. Maybe it's because of the way he carried himself, or maybe it's her way of putting up the walls that wouldn't let him walk inside her life again. Either way, she's going to use that as an excuse to be annoyed at him.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. But I don't blame you, you were on the wrong side of the stadium too." He replied, in reference to her support for Arsenal.

The blonde rolled her eyes and sent a quick text to Kol, telling him to hurry up for an egotistical football player wouldn't stop talking to her. When her brother appeared in front of the sidewalk riding his black Ducati with an extra helmet in his hand, it took everything from Rebekah not to punch him. She hated the Ducati, hated it with a burning passion.

"Seems like you've switched sides baby sister." Kol commented with a teasing grin on his face.

"Isaac Lahey, nice meeting you." The football player smiled and held out his hand, which Kol shook. Interest is spewing out of her brother's eyes and Rebekah wanted to strangle them both.

She felt attacked. Her brother and the most annoying football player in the whole damn world is teaming up against her.

"Where the hell is your car?" Rebekah asked, not even bothering to take the helmet from her brother's outstretched arm.

"Hope is here and the little Klaus demanded she needed the car for a joyride. I really couldn't refuse her because she threatened to ruin the paintjob if I didn't, and that's a fucking vintage BMW with original paintjob. I can't have her ruin my baby Liz."

As if the day couldn't get any weirder for Rebekah. Her brother was threatened by their little niece, and this football player was trying way too hard to flirt with her when she made it clear that she's not really interested. This was the first Isaac Lahey that didn't gather enough interest from her, and that alone is weird enough for Rebekah.

She remembered _the_ Isaac having his lame moments where he would shamelessly tell dad jokes, and text her lame pick-up lines. In a way this Isaac still had remnants of who he used to be, but he was so far along in time. There's another lousy theory which Rebekah had thought of, supported by the evidence of this stupid football player standing in front of her. Yes, reincarnations of people were able to access the previous versions of themselves through the relics in their subconscious. But the farther in time they go, the more they lose who they were.

Or maybe that's just Rebekah trying to support what she believed to be the truth. She's not willing to accept that this is life's reincarnation of the man she loved before. She couldn't see the boy who told her that she was everything he needed in his life. She couldn't see the boy who knew what she went through when she first talked to him in Scotland. She couldn't see the boy who instilled honesty deeply into her system even if it's just for one night.

He just couldn't be Isaac.

"Do you not want the Ducati?" Kol asked, a brow raised in confusion.

"I don't like motorcycles."

"Fair enough." He shrugged, "You can take a cab home." With that, he left her once more on the sidewalk standing with Not-Isaac.

A sigh escaped the original's lips as she tried her best to wrap her mind around the fact that she's going to stay longer on the sidewalk with this egotistical athlete. She's not sure if she has enough energy and willpower to try and keep up with whatever he's going to throw at her – may it be another shitty pick-up line, or an attempt to convince her to support Manchester United and not Arsenal.

He was smiling with his hands resting inside the pockets of his shorts, his smile looked serene as if he found peace as he was stood there beside her on the sidewalk. Rebekah doesn't know what to make of this, but for a moment, he looked exactly like _the_ Isaac. It was as if she was transported back to Paris when she had the golden days of her long life with Isaac. In that moment, she wanted to kiss him. Solely because he reminded her so much of _her_ Isaac, and not because she actually wanted to kiss him.

After all, he's still the annoying and arrogant football player.

"I'll drive you home, Rebekah." His voice came out of nowhere.

The blonde snapped out of her thoughts and her blue eyes were completely fixated on Isaac. They're unmoving, scrutinizing every single bit of him that she could see, analysing whether or not his intentions were as true as the previous versions of him.

"How'd you know my name?"

"Gut feeling."

She didn't know why, but she agreed to let him drive her home. When they came to a halt in front of her flat complex, he asked Rebekah for her mobile number – she gave it to him along with the conditions of: no texting of lame pick-up lines, no calling during ungodly hours, and he should be aware that he could never ever match Cristiano Ronaldo's skill (Cristiano Ronaldo died a hundred years ago, but his memory is still very much alive today).

"I'll take it." His smile was so bright Rebekah felt as if she was going to go blind.

Their relationship was founded on friendship. Rebekah managed to find tolerance for the athlete and Isaac's ego deflated a little ever since he met her. It was a win-win situation. Soon enough, Rebekah found herself getting introduced to Isaac's circle of friends, who were also his teammates. Usually, professional athletes do not form relations with their teammates – but Isaac and the rest of his team seemed to fare well with each other on and off the field.

There was Isaac, David, Wayne, and Leo. They're inseparable. And Rebekah just learned that it was only because of her that Isaac actually became a little more humble (according to his friends). She enjoyed spending time with them, they were brothers and they had forged a friendship that runs deep within their veins. Rebekah could see that.

"So, when are you two ever going to date?" Leo asked, a teasing grin plastered on his face.

"Sod off, mate. Rebekah and I are friends." Isaac answered. It's pretty much a norm for the two of them to deny every single allegation of them dating. Isaac was famous, and he had been seen enjoying most of the time with Rebekah. So it's not surprising when the media finally took notice.

They patiently denied every single question of dating each other.

"Of course you two are friends. Look at you, you're always so protective of Rebekah. Remember when she got drunk in that one party and you drove her back to her flat the minute she passed out? Oh, and don't forget that one time where the both of you were watching Arsenal versus Chelsea when you punched a guy who was staring at her arse. I have a ton of receipts, Lahey." Wayne winked at the both of them.

Red is tinting Rebekah's cheeks as she listened to every single word Wayne has said. And for the longest time, she forgot that she's a vampire. Spending time with the four of them made her lose track of all the years where she walked across this earth filled with hate, and loneliness. They made her happy, brought the smile to her face and made her feel as if her heart was beating normally again.

And maybe that's the difference of the fourth Isaac from the ones in the past. He made her feel so human, _so completely human_ that she couldn't even pinpoint when or where she started to fall hard for him.

She kissed him the first time when they watched a game between Barcelona and Real Madrid. He was telling her about how he was supposed to be drafted for Barcelona when she cut him off in mid-sentence by kissing him. At first she thought of lying to him by saying that they were at the kiss cam, but the game they're watching doesn't really have a kiss cam segment during half time.

When she pulled away, Isaac looked shocked. There's a confused expression on his face which Rebekah reacted to by laughing and giving him a swift kiss on the cheek.

"You did that?" He asked.

"I did that, yeah."

And then he kissed her again.

Rebekah found out that he was a vampire six months into their relationship. She was on top of him on the couch when she placed her ear against his chest only to hear the faint sound of a slow heartbeat. The original looked up at him in confusion, to which Isaac responded with a smile.

"How long?"

"Been turned about fifteen years ago. But I never cheat during my games, just so you know. I make sure that I match my teammates speed and reflexes so I play it fair and square. No vampire speed or strength involved." He grinned, looking proud of himself.

If her heart had the ability to swell, she was sure that it was the feeling she would have by now. Because this time, she doesn't have to say goodbye. He was already sharing the same fate she has. They're both cold beings in this cruel world, sharing each other's tiny sliver of warmth. For the first time, Rebekah was guaranteed a happy ever after.

"I know you're an original, too." He spoke after a brief moment of silence, "I don't know how I knew it. I just do."

The smile on Rebekah's face grew wider as she intertwined their fingers together.

"Maybe that's you remembering what you know from your past life." She brought up. But Rebekah didn't feel the need to tell him about the first Isaac or what happened that made her fall in love so much with him and every single versions of him that followed. _This_ Isaac was different, she loved him differently from all the other Isaacs she had met before.

Before, she knew that loving Isaac Lahey was going to end in a disaster. That they were destined for goodbyes and unhappy endings. But all of that changed the moment she pressed her ear against _this_ Isaac Lahey's chest. He was already a vampire, so what else do they have to lose? She wouldn't have to worry about ruining the life he could possibly lead because in this case, he was already doomed to walk this earth for as long as his immortal life will lead him. Rebekah wouldn't have to worry about feeling the pain and guilt if she was the one who took away the chance he had at a normal life.

He was already like her, and she was already his. What more could she ask for?

"How many versions of me have you met already?"

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here and I'm certain now that goodbyes and painful endings won't come near us."

"That's an optimistic remark coming from you." He chuckled, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Oh fuck off, Lahey. I've waited too long for this. Don't ruin the moment." And her laughter echoed all over their shared apartment.

"I love you, do you know that?"

"I love you. I've always loved you, and I'm pretty sure I always will."


End file.
